So after all the trials and tribulations we finally drove a stake through the heart of our nemesis and parted company with our Motor home. We had booked it in with Marquis in Tewkesbury and after a full inspection they made us an offer we couldn’t refuse. (The Godfather).
We will be sorry to be without a camper van but relieved to be rid of that particular one.
I think we’ve had so many problems with it, we just fell out of love.
So now we have all the gear that lived in the camper stored (well piled) in the hallway and we will have to start getting rid of it.
There’s a blow up Dometic awning that we used once in Spain that cost and arm and a leg, plus and internal bedroom that Jaki insisted we needed but never came out of the packaging. A blow up double mattress, a Kitchen unit plus all the gadgets you end up buying cause you think. “I might need that”.
Plastic plates, Cups, a complete set of saucepan’s and at least two washing up bowls will need to find homes.
But for now all we have to do is get the money paid into my bank account.
Marquis are asking me to send them a copy of my bank Statement (even though they have a photo copy of my debit card, a household bill and a copy of my passport) and I’m not really happy to do that, it seems a bit intrusive. If I had sold privately and the buyer asked to see my bank account i would be very suspicious.
Why do they need to see the ‘ins and outs’ of my bank account?
So, even at this late stage, it is still being a pain in the arse.
But at least I dont have to do a blog entitled.
‘The Enforcer. ‘
Bonus point for those that can name the fifth and final Dirty Harry movie?
I guess we wont do much now until the spring when we will have to decide whether we go back to Spain and rent a place, or take ourselves off a bit farther afield.
I have about 150,000 air miles which need using up before they are worthless, so it might be a good time to look at that again.
I would love to go back to Asia and I’ve always fancied Bangladesh so maybe, who knows.
I’m sat in our room at The Lions B & B in Newark where we plan to spend the night whilst SMC repaired the Fridge in the Motorhome. They emailed us last week and shared the news that the replacement part had arrived and we could at last bring the van back up to Newark (175 miles each way) and they would complete the repair.
So Sunday afternoon we made the journey and spent another night at Smeaton Lakes (£24 plus 60 pence for electric). It was a beautiful evening when we arrived and we brought a pre-made Chilli which we heated up in the Microwave before settling down to watch Ridley staring Adrian Dunbar.
I have to say we only watched Ridley because the other options were so awful. If there had been anything else worth watching we would have dumped this pile of Shite immediately.
Ridley (Dunbar) was a retired Cop. The local plod called him in as a ‘special advisor’ on a Murder Case. He then took over running the whole Nick and made the local Police look like total Numpties in the process. Of course he solved the case without the help of anyone else as he was so clever. It was Drama at its worst. Hope less ITV.
Little did we know there was more ‘Real Life Drama’ to come.
In the early hours of the morning we were woken by the sound of Thunder and the flashing of lightening as a storm made its way across he top of the camp site. It hunkered down into the Duvet until I felt rain splashing on my face. I quickly closed the skylight and drew the blind.
This morning the sun was out and it was another beautiful day.
We drove the short distance to SMC and handed over the keys.
Then made our way to Donna’s Tasty Bites a greasy spoon where we tucked in to a reasonable fry up.
It wasn’t massive and it wasn’t great quality. The sausages were commercial but they split them open so they were cooked thoroughly without burning the outsides.The Bacon was good and tasty, Mushrooms fresh and the one egg nicely cooked. There were two plastic pots, one with Beans and one with tinned tomatoes which I just didn’t do it for me.
A round of white toast was dumped on the plate and there was one Hash Brown.
With a mug of Tea the large was £8 which isn’t cheap but It hit the spot.
We had booked a Hotel (well a B & B actually) on line and we chose this particular place because it looked like it was the closest to SMC. As it turned out It was 23 minutes away as long as you weren’t carrying a back pack or dragging a suitcase. It took us more like 40 minutes but who is counting.
When we got there we were met by our host who allowed us to leave our bags and said he would have our room ready by 1 PM so we set off to kill some time. We sat in a small park and enjoyed the sunshine. Close by was a statue of a lady holding a child’s hand and carrying a small baby. This was a monument to Irena Sendler some one I hadn’t heard of before but a lady who was a total Legend.Why there was a monument to her here in Newark Im not completely sure?
When we had gathered our strength we walked into Newark Town centre where the cheap & cheerful vied with the Charity shops and empty premises to see which could be the most depressing. The whole place felt run down. We stopped for a drink in the White Hart where at least a dozen men sat in solitary silence drinking lager and staring into space.
When we got back to the B&B we were shown to our room.
It was recently decorated in Heritage Green (sort of Sage) with some old Veneered furniture and a small double bed. The small Flat screen on the wall was so far away from the bed I doubt I will be able to watch it as I didn’t bring my glasses or a telescope.
The room was a bit of a miss match. It had character but its not coordinated. there are period features mixed with modern .
The LoungeOur BedroomOur Room
Half Homes and Garden’s and half IKEA. It should have been terribly twee as the owners are two nice guys but it just missed the mark. The Bed was comfortable and there’s a kettle to make tea. A nicely fitted bathroom with a bath but the water was running so slow Jaki didn’t have the patients to wait for it to fill up.
It does though have a lovely garden at the back.
The biggest criticism was the road noise.
Our room was at the front of the house and because it was still warm, we had the windows open and the traffic was continuous. At £100 a night its probably too expensive but the other options were a Best Western and a Travel lodge just up the road and they didn’t look any more appealing.
Mid afternoon we got a call from Warren at SMC Motor homes who said he had some ‘good news and some bad news’.
The bad news was that the part they ordered was the wrong one.
Apparently they got “one digit wrong” so It doesn’t fit.
However, they have reordered the correct part and they expect it to arrive in a few weeks time.
As an alternative he offered several options, including taking another much older fridge out of another motor home and putting it in our van.
Our Broken Fridge
Replacement Fridge
This would though devalue our home considerably.
I suggested the best option was for them to give us our money back and he agreed to speak to colleagues to see if that was possible.
Then we got a call from ‘Steve’ who rather brusquely offered us £40,000 for the van (£6000 less than we paid for it) because he said we had had it for a year, we had run up extra miles on it and it was working perfectly when we bought it.
He couldn’t see why we would expect to get our money back 14 months later?
I tried explaining to him about the Consumer rights act 2015 and the right of consumers to reject good if they were faulty. He said that (consumer rights act) was nothing to do with them and the van wasn’t faulty when we bought it.
So I made another call to the Caravan and Motorhome club Legal helpline and spoke to the solicitor I had spoken to earlier in the week.
She suggested if we accept the repair we could still claim compensation from SMC through the small claims court for expenses incurred and loss of value on the van.
Or we could reject the repair and claim a full refund from SMC and suggested contacting our home insurance as there is legal protection included and they may well authorise us to instruct a solicitor. So we will check this out when we get home tomorrow.
For now, we still dont have a satisfactory outcome.
We have spent another £200 on travel and accommodation here in Newark and the van is no nearer being repaired and we will have to go through the whole thing again in a few weeks time.
Determined we would salvage at least one good day from the weekend we had plugged in the cool box on Sunday night so by Monday morning it was cold enough to store some milk and some bits and pieces to make sandwiches which Jaki bought from the local Sainsburies.
Whilst she was shopping I topped up the fresh water tank and loaded the bikes on the bike rack.
One way or another we were going to get some use out of the Motor Home.
We decided to drive to Weston and spend the day on the beach.
Weston isn’t very far away and its very popular right across the country, but we seldom go. We used to go a lot, Jaki has family there and her Cousins are about the same age as her and had kids about the same time as us, but sadly, we dont see them as much now. We used to drive down after school when the B&B customers had gone back to their Digs’ for Tea. We would have the Beach to ourselves then.
It is very much a “Kiss me Quick” resort with all the trappings of a ‘Typical’ English Seaside Town and I find that a bit depressing. The Candy Floss, the Donkeys, the Punch and Judy, much loved by many manages to depress me. It has associations that make me uncomfortable.
It does have a new Pier, the old one mysteriously burnt down some years ago but luckily the insurance paid out and the owners were able to build a much newer, more modern affair and put a few quid in their back pockets.
Some years ago I was working at Weston Fire Station and we were called to the old Pier where a rollercoaster ride had broken down and people were trapped in the cars. The roller coaster was built right on the end of the pier so one side had a huge drop to the sea below, making it even more scary. When we got there the Cars were stuck at precarious angles, though thankfully none was in danger of falling out.
We didn’t operate ‘Line Rescue’ then so it was a case of climbing up the metal framework and tying people to ropes as we helped them down. It was all relatively easy as long as you didn’t look over the edge at the incoming tide.
Tropicana 1930
Tropicana the outdoor swimming Pool that was once the Jewel in the Crown of Weston has been abandoned for years and sits as a reminder of the deterioration of many seaside resorts since the arrival of cheap air travel became the norm.
We loved this place as Kids. It had incredibly high diving boards where only the fool hardy or Olympic athletes would venture.
Alan Taylor
We were there one summers day Miss World heats were taking place. They were hosted by a local celebrity called Alan Taylor who went on to present the HTV version of ‘Mr and Mrs’ a god awful quiz where husbands and wives were asked questions about each other in order to win prizes, the best of which was a carriage clock. This show was later presented Nationally by Derek Batey.
Derek BateyThe original
If you go a bit farther south than Weston you come to a small village called Uphill and that’s actually quite pleasant. There is a small marina where people store their boats and a rather interesting walkway that takes you to Brean Sands and miles of flat sandy beaches the other side of the Headland.
We chose this far end of Weston beach for our day out.
You can drive down onto the sand and as long as you dont try and drive to close to the water line its relatively safe, though you still see the occasional car roof sticking up out of the mud where it had sunk. Years ago when I was about 16 a group of us went to Brean and my mate Malc Buck (Bucky) had a beautiful Vauxhall Cresta.
As soon as we hit the beach he decided to drive full steam toward the water. within 5 minutes of being at the beach his pride and Joy was a foot deep in mud. I can still remember the look on his face when he was forced to leave his car to the mercy of the tide.
We chose a spot just in front of a small wooden Cafe that sits on the edge of the sand dunes. This would be a Chiringuito in Spain.
We rolled out the awning, set up the table and two chairs and settled down to relax.
Though this was short lived as I had to find rubber gloves and a plastic bag to pick up 6 soiled nappies, a dozen soiled wet wipes, plastic bottles, food wrappers, fag packets and other assorted debris that some low life scumbags had left on the beach. I just couldn’t sit there and look at it all day.
SteepholmWelsh Coast
We had a lovely view out across the Bristol Channel. The light was good and we could see Flat holm and Steepholm as well as the Welsh Coast.
Several times during the day we were disturbed by a siren from the beach patrol warning people they were going too far out into the mud and were in danger of getting stuck. The emergency services regularly rescue People from this beach. They walk out so far, get stuck in the mud and then risk drowning when the tide comes in.
The new attraction at W-S-M.
Later in the afternoon we decided to take a stroll along the prom to the Pier past the Oil Drilling Rig that is a new attraction to Weston Sea front.
The Oil Rig with the Pier in the Background.
It was an interesting experience and underlined my basic dislike of the Bucket and Spade Seaside experience.
But there were an awful lot of people who clearly had a different view.
large multi-generational groups of Asians sat on the sand enjoying the fresh air. The older people in traditional dress, the adults in smart casual European clothes and the kids in full on modern kit including Trainers and Baseball caps.
A huge group of West Indians had set up several trestle tables which were groaning under the weight of Rice and Peas, Jerk Chicken and other delicious food. WE stopped and drooled till a puddle formed under our feet.
The Fish and Chip shops were doing a roaring trade and the smell of vinegar was intoxicating. Eating Fish and Chips at the Seaside is one of life forbidden pleasures.
We sat on the wall and people watched until we witnessed a near death experience.
A rather large lady with heavily tattoo’d legs was caught by a sudden gust of wind which caused her False Eye lashes to peel her eyelids back over the top of her head like a pink Plastic swimming cap, exposing gristle and Cranial bones as it did so.
She almost dropped her can of Cider with the shock.
We witnessed a very old bald man with Microcephaly who had the Bayeux Tapestry tattoo’d above his ears walking hand in hand with an elderly lady and a Mum, Dad and son with matching Gold chains the size of a ships anchor chain dangling from their necks, with a full size (solid gold) Colt 45 dangling on the end.
They looked such a sweet family unit.
Tattoos, Bling and shaved heads seemed to be the dress code for a day at the beach?
Not for the Chinese ladies who found eating Candy floss very intoxicating even when it tangled in their hair and attracted wasps.
We over indulged on this heady mix of the surreal and the ridiculous before deciding to head back to the van. It was like leaving Lost Vagueness at Glastonbury where you truly cant believe what you see.
Wild CampingWesston Style.
Our plan was to watch the sunset across the Bristol Channel which was now full of water and looked very exotic whilst cooking some food on the BBQ . Most of the other visitors had gone and there were only a few of us left, including what looked like a deserted Camper van but was actually a wild camper.
Before we could fully savour the evening sunset we were joined on the beach by a gang of young people who had borrowed Mums Vauxhall Nova and Grannies Fiat Panda for a bit of High Jinx.
Thunder Rooad. Grease.Thiunder Road. Weston.
It seems the height of entertainment for Weston Youth is to race these sad cars up and down the sand spinning their wheels in an attempt to impress the local Gals who obligingly swooned at this derring-do.
This was enough for us so we loaded up the truck and headed home.
I enjoyed my day at Weston but I wont be booking two weeks at Dunn Roaming any time soon.
We had an awful week, battling against the heat wave but trying to get some resolution to the problems with the motor home.
By Friday afternoon the manager at SMC had suggested several options of fridge but on each occasion the fridge he was offering wasn’t the same one and it was much smaller. So I sent him an email which gave him accurate information about each of the fridges he had sourced and why they wouldn’t be suitable.
Friday night the mighty ‘Blake’ stayed with his Nanny and ‘Duran Duran’ (Blakey for Grandad) and his Mum and Dad picked him up Saturday lunchtime.
We decided we would get away for a cheeky break and booked a site just out side of Tewkesbury called The Willows , Bishops Walk, Lower Lode, Forthampton, Tewkesbury GL194RE using Pitch Up an on line camping site. £44 for two nights.
We toyed with booking the Caravan and Motorhome site at Tewkesbury Abbey but it was much more expensive but as we didn’t have a fridge, we didn’t need electric and all the pitches on the Caravan and motorhome site came with electric as standard.
The site we chose looked like it ticked all the boxes. It had a pub next door so we could purchase food and drinks rather than carry them.
Then my mate Steve offered us the use of his electric cool box which would mean we could take some basic fresh foods. So i emailed the site and asked if we could upgrade to an electric pitch which they said we could.
The borrowed Cool Box.
We plugged the cool box in to the mains over night and filled it with food just before we left. It connected to the cigarette lighter in the van and stayed cool till we got there, which was only about an hour.
We found the site reasonably easily though it wasn’t straight forward. It seems if you put the details into Tom Tom Sat-Nav it takes you to the right place, except it deposits you on the other side of the river Severn. So you can see the camp site, but you cant actually access it. Luckily I read that in the email before we set of. We found forthampton easily enough but then the Sat-Nav had a wobble. Luckily Jaki was backing up with Google Maps so we kept going past the Church (St Mary the Virgin) down Bishops Walk to the river.
In front of us was a sign saying ‘Dead End’. It would have been really helpful if there had also been a sign saying ‘Camp site’!
But there wasn’t.
Luckily an old bloke in an open top sports car (they are always Old) stopped at the junction and I was able to ask him if there was a camp site ahead.
When we got there we were a bit confused as the camp site was on our right, on the bank of the river. But it was called Lower Lode campsite. It transpired that this site belonged to the pub and for £20 including electricity, you can camp there and enjoy all the facilities the pub and the river have to offer.
Visitors to Lower Lode camping
Lots of people had done just that and there seemed to be an awful lot of families with children and Dogs staying in some unusual accommodation?
Welcome to the Willows
However, our site was a few yards on on the left. A sign here would have been useful too.
i stopped in the gateway and ventured into reception where I was met by the proprietor who told me we had booked a pitch in the Tent field and not in the camper field! He also said he wanted an extra £13 a night for electric, which i declined.
We were allocated plot 18 which was fine. A nice big level plot with a water and electric ( not for us) and only a short walk to the pub.
After everything was set up and we were ready to sit and relax we realised we had positioned the van the wrong way round ( school boy error). The awning was on the South side so all the shade was around the other side. So we had to carry the chairs around to the off side of the van as it was about 36º by this time, way too hot to sit in the sun.
We stayed there till early evening when it cooled down a Tad and then ventured up to sample the delights of the Lower Lode Inn.
It was heaving. All the tables in the shade were gone so we found a table on the river bank which didn’t offer much protection but gave us a great view and we could watch the comings and goings whilst sipping a pint of Robinsons Cider, a very orange but tasty brew. There were people swimming in the river, dogs splashing after sticks, paddle boards and canoes of all colours. there were even some larger boats seeking a mooring and a few narrow boats securely tied to the bank.
This seemed to be a favourite place for Bikers and several large Harleys were parked precariously outside the pub.
There was a wedding taking place in a small corrugated Iron shed with a Burger van outside.
So Thursday morning we set off to meet Maria at the bus stop which is right outside her Hotel. We were early plus her flight was delayed by 17 minutes and we didn’t know for sure how long the journey would take and how many stops (drop offs) it would make en route so we walked across the road to a beach bar, Bocaina which is part of her hotel and some where we have never been before.
The beach bar was very comfortable with a glass screen that protected against the worst of the wind off the sea and comfortable seating, so this is worth remembering.
It apparently stays open till 3 am too, though I doubt I will live to prove that!
Eventually I got a Text from Maria saying:
‘I think I’m here,’ Which was a bit worrying, so I phoned her.
“Where exactly are you”?
She explained the driver had told her to get off (for the second time, Im assuming the first time was at Maui) but she still didn’t think she was in the right place.?
When she tried to describe where she was, It could have been one of several places, some of which were an awfully long way away.
However, when I did some home work on Google I realise she was only a few metres along the road ,so I asked her to start walking toward us and I would meet her.
“Can you see the Sun.” I asked? “Start walking towards It”.
“ But its above me”. She advised.
This wasn’t going to be easy.
“OK, turn so the sea is on your left, and start walking in that direction”. I tried again.
“Which way, Up the hill or down.” She asked?
Which was a bit disconcerting as the road was totally flat!
“Stay where you are, Ill come and get you“!
We didn’t have to go more than 50 metres and we could see her stood with her suitcase, the sun above her and the sea on her left.
The bus had dropped her at ‘almost’ the correct spot, but had, I think, taken advantage of a lay bye to pull into rather than the actual stop.
It seems she booked a drop off and collection at Maui which is some way up the road, so that confused the driver.
Jaki inspecting the room.
So we checked in and made sure she was happy with her room before wandering across the road where we sat, had a drink and caught up.
Then it was time to let her unpack and get some rest as she had been up since 4.0am.
Later that evening we met up and walked down the sea front to Ankara where we stopped and had a drink in the last of the evening sunshine.
By now we were all hungry but we didn’t know what we fancied to eat so ended up by default in Sensationsa fairly non descript but very popular place just across the road from the Beach.
There are several large fairly modern restaurants within a short distance of each other, all catering for the same market.
Martin Morales which looks great but has a bit of a reputation for poor service, Bellavista which is loved by the Middle aged ex-Pat Brits as its predictable, clean and Safe but is, in my humble opinion, very boring.
And finally Sensations which offers a reasonable choice of food, cooked reasonably well in a reasonable environment but it has no atmosphere what so ever.
The service we received was a bit slow despite three staff loitering in the doorway, we had to wait till another waiter came along before we could get served.
We all ate the Menu del Dia at €14.50 (plus extra’s if you chose certain dishes) which always seems odd. Offer a ‘set’ three course menu that isn’t actually ‘set’.
Like having a price cap on energy that goes up when the price of gas goes up?
But it did what it needed to do and we were all happy to head home for an early night.
As an aside. Jaki has been Ironing in the awning using the new Iron i bought for her as a Special Present from the Charity shop (€5) and when she finished she asked if she could pass the finished ironing to me in the van. I carefully collected the items and laid them on the bed, narrowly avoiding the red hot iron with my bare feet, which she had placed on the floor.
Once I had helped with that task, I went back to work finishing this blog.
It was only when she came back in side she spotted I had put my dirty feet up on her clean Ironing pile.
Jaki started this form on line some time ago and completed the Family version, tough I’ll get to that later.
The first bit is to decide whether you are flying or sailing.
Once you’ve clicked the Maritime box you are offered a second option which seems to repeat what you have already been asked, but Hey ho, it is a Spanish form.
Now I’ve got a lot of time for the Spanish but I have to say their grasp of all things IT/Wifi (which they pronounce as Whiffy as in the smell) is usually left wanting and this for was no exception.
Let me talk you through our experience, and bear in mind there are thousands of people on line asking for help to complete their forms. There are countless web sites and You tube videos that purport to guide you through the process, some are in real time too. But most deal with applications for flights and package holidays. we didn’t find one that dealt with ferries.
So you find yourself here.
Jaki decided to complete the initial form on behalf of both of us so chose to click ‘Family Group’.
She filled in all the details and then we had fun with the captcha at the bottom because the instructions were in Spanish even though we had selected English as the preferred language.
Though that seems to be a bit of a problem with official Spanish web sites which cant seem to put everything consistently in English even though they offer a facility to select it. Like Frequently asked Questions on the Spanish Embassy site!
Once the first section was complete we received an email advising us of our application had started and giving us some code numbers to use later.
But, she ploughed on and got the first section under her belt.
The second bit you cannot complete till 48 hours before departure (even though some sites say arrival, we have completed ours, not without some additional problems) and we did it within 48 of the departure time.
I logged on this morning using the link from an email travel health Spain sent us confirming we had successfully completed the Health Control Form (FCS)
However, that took me to the initial application site and it didn’t let me continue to finish the already started form.
After a bit of doubt I decided to re enter the information they required and within a few minute i had received yet another email with a different set of codes, the FCS code and the Form Identifier code. So we now had two partially completed forms.
I decided to go back to the original and re clicked on the link in the first email and it took me to the correct page on the site and asked me to enter the relevant codes, which i did.
It all went swimmingly till we got to the bit where we had to enter details about our crossing with Brittany Ferries.
They asked for our Cabin number which we didnt have.
We then realised that The Caravan and Camping club had sent us confirmation of our booking (we booked the crossing through them) but we hadn’t received any boarding document, which i had expected to get via email, so we phoned them.
They confirmed the email they sent confirming our booking was sufficient to get us on board and we should simply share the booking reference at the dock side. They also tried to get the cabin number from Brittany Ferries without success, but later in the morning they phoned us and gave us the number.
What I dont understand is how this can happen. Surely we aren’t the first people to have to complete this form?
So I entered our cabin number and then moved on to the next part of the form which asked where we were staying. The whole thing is based on the assumption that we were flying out as part of a package holiday and we were staying for 2 weeks in a hotel, which is not the case.
So the instructions said to enter the address of the Ferry port but no matter how we tried, it would not accept Cantabria (as the autonomous area of Spain) and Santander as the City even though it is the Capital of Cantabria.
We tried all sorts to get this section completed but it beat us.
We could not get information to stay in the red boxes.
So, as a last resort. I cancelled the application and went back to the beginning, and that seemed to do the trick, it seems the page ( for some reason) hadn’t loaded properly so wasn’t working. Now it accepted both names perfectly happily.
We moved on to the next section, which required us to confirm officially that we were fully (three jabs, one being the booster) vaccinated.
To do this we had taken out an NHS app on our smart phones and down loaded all the information which was confirmed by a QR code. It seemed all we had to do was up load the QR code to the SpTH site and we were good to go.
Except we weren’t.
The information was on my mobile phone and the SpTH application was on my lap top, so I needed to get the information from the phone to the Mac.
On the NHS App there is a facility to down load your vaccination information as a PDF which can be printed out, so I down loaded all 721 KB of it and sent it to my Mac. The file arrived and i copied and pasted it into the application. All I had to do now was save.
But it didn’t work.
Helpfully a message flashed up at the top of the screen.
“The date entered is no valid. Please check the info as it must match that of your form and the dates of validity for each certificate are met”
What the F*** does that mean, its not coherent and i have no idea what dates it’s talking about, what info has to match, and what are the certificates it’s referring to.
At this stage we were resigned to not going to Spain at all.
The other thing we realised at this point was that none of this information referred to Jaki so although we had set out to complete a family application, this was purely about me.
So Jaki decided to down load the SpTH app to her phone and make a personal application.
In the mean time I tried to get some information or help in completing this form.
I phoned the Spanish Embassy but they were all on a siesta, so i tried Brittany Ferries but they didn’t answer either. After about 15 minutes of continually calling both I gave up.
There was another way of doing it.
Instead of ticking the box for EU recognised digital confirmation of vaccination, I could tick another box and put the info in old school.
So I gave this a try and almost made it. Sadly there was a drop box on the site that asked me to clarify which type of Booster i had received. Unfortunately, none of the names on the list tallied with the info i had on my booster details.
Options on the application formMy booster information
So, I phoned my friend who has worked on the vaccination project and asked her if she could talk me through it. It seems some of the names have been changed since they were first used and she did try to tell me what they were now called but it was all double Dutch and I still couldn’t compare like for like.
Eventually Jaki completed her new application on line and was able to give me some guidance.
I went back to the QR code on the NHS app and screen shotted (Is that a word?) the QR code for the booster only. I edited it so just the black and white square of the QR code was visible, and sent that to my laptop. When it arrived i copied and pasted it into the relevant section and bam, it was accepted.
Finished.
Within seconds an email arrived confirming the application was successful.
The ‘5 minutes to complete on line application’ actually took two of us 3 hours and 15 minutes!
What a complete and utter waste of time it was too!
I have been doing my research to find out all the things I need to know in the Post Brexit/Covid world before setting off. Initially it looked daunting but Covid restrictions have eased slightly so its a bit simpler. What is fascinating is the differences between countries and the potential for making mistakes. Like the use of Dash Cam which can land you in big trouble if you’re not careful, and it may be its not worth doing?
So, I have put together a selection of the important issues ( i have taken out most info on Countries I dont intend to visit so this isn’t a complete list).
This may be helpful, but who knows?
Sat-navs and dash cams
In nearly all European countries it is illegal to use car navigation systems which actively search for mobile speed cameras or interfere with police equipment (laser on radar detection).
Car navigation systems which give a warning of fixed speed camera locations are legal in most countries .
It is Illegal in France and this function must be deactivated.
Dash Cam
In some EU countries there are restrictions on dash cam usage and you may receive a hefty fine if you get caught using one.
Fines can be as much as €25,000 if you are caught using one.
In France they are legal but there are strict conditions for their use.
It is legal to own and use a dash cam in Spain .
Headlights
Adapt your headlights so that you ‘do not dazzle oncoming traffic’ by manually adjusting your lights or by using headlight converters.
Eurolites are available from most motor accessory shops or on-line atwww.travelspot.co.uk.
These headlight converters come with a list of over 600 different vehicle types, with corresponding diagrams showing you how to position them. Eurolites are suitable for clear lens, projector and xenon headlights.
In certain countries it is compulsory to use your headlights at all times.
Breathalysers in France
If travelling through France, make sure you have a breathalyser to hand. Although it is not a legal requirement anymore we still advise you carry one. Make sure your breathalyser is NF approved.
All motorhomes and caravans (not combined with towing vehicle) with a total weight exceeding 3.5 tonnes must have a sticker showing the position of the blind spots, visible on the sides and at the rear of the vehicle.
These regulations are in force since 1 January 2021.
The stickers:
Must be visible from the sides and rear of the vehicle, and at a height between 0.90 and 1.50 meters from the ground.
Can be glued, painted on the bodywork or affixed by riveting or any other means of fixing.
Must be placed so as to be visible at all times.
Must not obstruct the visibility of the vehicle’s registration plates and various lights and signalling devices as well as the driver’s field of vision.
Must comply with the model set by the decree of 5 January 2021.
Foreign vehicles passing through France are also subject to this signing obligation.
Note: There are no specific blind spot stickers for motorhomes or caravans so you can use either of the stickers listed on the link above.
There is no official distribution point for the stickers at present, but these can be purchased online at most big retailers (Amazon, ebay etc.).
Low emission zones
There are a number of countries that have introduced low emission zones in towns and cities, including; Germany; Italy; Denmark; Czech Republic; France; and Portugal.
Number plates
You need to display a UK identifier on the rear of your vehicle when travelling in Europe.
If your number plate includes UK on its own or UK with the Union flag then you do not need a separate UK sticker, unless you are travelling in Spain in which case a separate UK sticker is also required.
You will need a separate UK sticker displayed on the rear of your vehicle if your number plate has a Euro symbol, a national flag of England, Scotland or Wales or no flag or identifier.
Bike racks
You can carry your bikes on the back of your vehicle, provided they do not obscure lights, indicators or number plates.
Bike racks can only rest on the tow-bar if the maximum weight on the tow-bar is not exceeded.
The image above shows how to display the marker boards in the cycle carrier if the overhanging load doesn’t exceed the width of the vehicle (it should be perpendicular with the lighting board).
If it does exceed the width of the vehicle you will need two hatched reflective stripes one at each edge pointing down (forming an inverted V).
The Lighting board and the marker board are both needed for Spain and Italy.
For the rear marker board, the design in Spain is 3 red and 3 white hatched, reflective stripes. In Italy, the design is 5 red and 4 white hatched, reflective stripes.
In Spain and Italy, any overhanging loads must be indicated by a square panel measuring 50cm x 50cm.
The square must have reflectorized red and white diagonal stripes. Panels can be purchased from Fiamma stockists are available in aluminium and plastic. In Spain you can use either, however, in Italy the panel must be aluminium.
Documentation
When you’re travelling abroad, there are certain documents and insurance that you must have with you. You’ll need to be able to produce these documents if you’re ever stopped by the police.
The specific documentation the police will ask for will vary per country, but the following items are essential to carry with you on any overseas touring holiday, no matter what you’re driving or towing:
For your vehicle(s)
proof of ownership of your vehicle(s) (V5C document or VE103 if the vehicle is hired or leased)
proof of your MOT (if the vehicle is over three years old)
proof of insurance for your vehicle (this should be your certificate of insurance) plus a Green Card, if required. For further information on Green Card requirements.
For you
your driving licence
your passport
an International Driving Permit if required
For more details around International Driving Permits, insurance and Green Cards after Brexit, see our
Surcharge-free roaming for mobile phones and other devices is no longer guaranteed when travelling in the EU and some of the big network providers have said that they will reintroduce fees for customers on certain price plans. There is a UK government regulation which protects against ‘unexpected charges’ by setting a limit of £45, above which the phone company needs the customer agreement, but we recommend that you check with your network provider before travelling to avoid unexpected charges.
Food restrictions
There are restrictions on the food that you can carry into the EU.
You cannot take meat, milk or products containing them into the EU; there are some exceptions, e.g. certain amounts of powdered infant milk, infant food, special food or pet food required for medical reasons. You cannot take plants including fruit and vegetables with the exception of bananas, coconuts, dates, pineapples and durians.
Check the rules on the European Commission website. When returning to the UK you can currently bring these products with you for personal consumption but always check for the most up to date information on GOV.UK
Tax free sales (Duty Free)
Tax-free sales beyond security controls in the UK such as perfume, electronics etc. will end from 1 January 2021. On this date, duty-free sales of alcohol and tobacco beyond UK security controls will now apply on the same basis as non-EU destinations. When returning to the UK you will no longer be allowed to bring unlimited amounts of alcohol, tobacco or other goods for personal use. See GOV.UK for a full list of limitations.
Recommended documents
CKE – Camping Key Europe
Nearly all campsites in Europe will accept a CKE card instead of your passport when you check-in at reception; it also provides public liability insurance.
The EHIC card / GHIC card allows you to obtain state-provided emergency health care in the EU.
We suggest you carry a few photocopies as the card may be retained by a hospital or clinic.
As the cards only provide access to basic emergency cover we advise taking out additional travel insurance.
Overseas insurance advice
Before you head off on your overseas adventure, we advise you to contact your motorhome insurance companies to:
check that you are covered for the countries you are planning to visit
check if there is a limit to how long you can stay overseas
Driving in France
At the approach to some roundabouts in France, you will see a sign
‘Vous n’avez pas la priorité’.
This shows that traffic on the roundabout has priority.
If there is no such sign, traffic entering the roundabout has priority.
Other common signs are:
‘Toutes Directions’ (all directions)
‘Autres Directions’ (other routes) and ‘
Péage’ (toll motorway).
When driving in France, you may come across some main roads where you do not have right of way and you are required to give way to traffic approaching from the right.
In some towns and villages, the speed limit of 50kph/30mph is not signposted, instead the name of the town/village is displayed on a rectangular sign edged in red.
This sign signifies that the speed limit is 50kph.
At the exit to the town/village, there will be a similar sign edged in black with a red line through the name. Once you have passed this sign, the speed limit increases to what it was before you arrived at the town/village.
Pedestrians have priority over vehicles when crossing a road.
Pedestrians need to “show a clear intention to cross” described as “an ostensible step forward or a hand gesture”. The only exception to this rule is where there is a designated pedestrian crossing less than 50m away. Drivers who ignore this rule and do not stop for pedestrians waiting to cross the road can receive a fine of up to €135.
Driving in Spain
A solid white line down the centre of the road prohibits overtaking. In Spain, this line must not be crossed to execute a left turn, despite the lack of any other ‘no left turn’ sign. If necessary, proceed to a ‘cambio de sentido’ (change of direction) sign to turn.
Also in Spain, many roads have a single white line on the near (verge) side of the carriageway. This marks a narrow lane for pedestrians and/or cyclists and is not for use as a hard shoulder.
A continuous line also indicates ‘no stopping’, even if it is possible to park entirely off the road. It should not be crossed except in a serious emergency.
Halt signs mean halt – on the spot fines are imposed on motorists creeping forward at these signs.
When stopping at traffic lights, ensure that you stop soon enough so that you can still see the colour of the lights as they can be to the side or high overhead without a further set in front.
The vast majority of overseas holidays pass without incident, however, very occasionally we receive reports from members who have been the victims of robberies or attempted robberies.
On the road
We would recommend that you always come off motorways to find overnight sites. Unfortunately, as you may have seen in the trade press including our own Club Magazine, it is becoming more and more of a problem that caravans and motorhomes parked overnight on service stations are targeted by thieves who are not deterred by the fact that people are asleep inside the vehicles.
Motorways provide convenient service stations and areas for a rest and a picnic en route but try not to leave the outfit unattended at any time and find a proper site for an overnight stop for your own safety.
Reported incidents
In Southern France, Spain, and Portugal the following “techniques” have been used to part members from their money/property:
At service stations members have returned to their vehicles to find that they have a flat tyre, whilst they are changing the tyre “a good Samaritan” offers help and advice and whilst you are distracted their accomplices steal from your vehicle.
On motorways / dual carriageways members have reported other vehicles trying to “flag them down” suggesting that there is a problem with the car/ caravan, and in some instances thieves have thrown a small object at the vehicle to try and encourage the drivers to pull over.
You should also be wary of approaches by bogus police officers, in plain clothes and travelling in unmarked cars. In all traffic related matters police officers will be in uniform. Unmarked vehicles will have a flashing electronic sign on the rear window which reads “Policia” or “Guardia Civil”, and normally have blue flashing lights incorporated into the headlights, which are activated by the Police when they stop you.
Camping Key Europe
Own a Camping Key Europe (CKE) and enjoy added convenience, extra insurance and thousands of local discounts when touring abroad.
The Camping Key Europe card’s main function is to act as proof of identity for caravaners and motorhomes in Europe, plus it offers third party liability insurance. You can also benefit from a range of discounts on sites.
Added convenience
Your Camping Key Card will act as proof of ID. The card contains all your personal details so you can leave this with reception instead of your passport. (Except sites in Italy and Croatia.)
Extra insurance
Your Camping Key Card will offer you third party liability insurance for up to 11 people in a party and subsidiary insurance for loss or damage whilst on the site.
Save money Your Camping Key Card will grant you access to thousands of local discounts.
At the Ferry Port
Keep your booking reference number handy, as you’ll need to show this to the staff at your crossing. If you’ve booked your crossing with the Caravan and Motorhome Club, you’ll receive an email confirmation including your number.
Follow the signs for the ferry operator you’ve booked with when you arrive at the ferry port, then show the staff your reference number and they’ll check you in and tell you which lane to queue in.
If you book with Eurotunnel directly, you can use their self-check-in lane. All you need to do is enter your reference number at the kiosk and follow the instructions on the screen.
Before You arrive on site
Receptions often close at lunch times, so try to plan your arrival either side of this.
Some campsites don’t allow long swimming shorts in the pool – best to pack your brief-style trunks.
Bring some extra toilet roll or put it on your shopping list for when you arrive, as some campsites don’t supply it.
You might need to put down a deposit for a key, as some campsites have entry/exit barriers to the site.
At the Campsite
Try to keep cash on you as some campsites don’t accept cards.
Some sites have separate parking and don’t like you to park your car on your pitch, check with reception where you should park your car.
Some campsites have electricity that’s metered – check with reception on arrival.
Some campsites don’t allow traffic movement between the hours of 11pm and 8am, so if you need to arrive really late or leave extra early, have a chat with the campsite first.
My check list to date
Camper van
Tax MOT Service 10/03/22 Pearce Bros oil changed Acsi 03/02/22 €15.95 Caravan Club 01/01/22 £56.00 Auto renew Motor insurance Camper 19/07/21 £346.67 PBIS Pete Best European breakdown Insurance 11/02/22 £272* Red Pennant 30/03/22 Policy 71105763 Breakdown Ins UK: for Camper 11/02/22 £74.00 Green Flag 10/03/22 Through Caravan club
Holiday Ins Bill 11/02/22 * Red Pennant 11/02/22 Through Caravan club jointly Holiday Ins Jaki 11/02/22 * Red Pennant 11/02/22 Through Caravan club jointly Ferry Crossing 30/03/22 £541.00 Brittany Ferries GHIC Take photo copies locator form 48 hrs before arrival Passports Take photocopies NHS App Sea sick pill Prescriptions Ear plugs Bike lights pump VPN 22/03/22 $12 Express VPN Monthly Awning Kingswood camping inner tent on line Mat Gas drinking glasses Euros Credit cards Sun Glasses tool box UK stickerDipped lights charging leads Bag for ferry crossing: loo cleaner headlight dippers grinder. Spices. Driving Glasses warning triangles Reflective jackets electric tyre pump breathalysers
We seem to keep adding to this list dispite doing more and more jobs.
So here we are again back at Cofton Farm. It will probably be our last trip away this year, then we plan to put the Van away until the Spring.
Our plan was to buy a waterproof cover to wrap the van up tightly but Ive had a problem sourcing one.
I contacted Marquis in Devon and told them what van I had and they suggested the Fiamma Premium L (8Metres) and they said they ‘had one in Stock’ at £330.99. I asked ‘Adam’ at Marquis if he could put one aside for me and I would collect it at the beginning of December as I would be passing the door?
He suggested I would have to pay up front for this which I was a bit reluctant to do.
So I decided to shop around on line and see if I could get the same one at a cheaper price.
This was all going swimmingly. I was made up when I found the same one but £50 cheaper even after paying for delivery.
However, when I came to order it was ‘Out of Stock’.
This became a recurrent theme and everywhere I tried told me they were unable to get this Item.
I suspect it has to be imported from the EU and there are problems. It seems Brexit had buggered up everything.
So, this morning we called into Marquis on our way to Cofton Caravan Park hoping to pay for the cover and pick it up on our way home on Friday morning. Sadly that wasnt to be.
I breezed into the showroom and asked to speak to Adam.
Sorry, but there is no one called Adam working here they advised.
Looking puzzled I scrolled through my e mail list, found the relevant email from Adam and showed it to the lady behind the desk.
“Thats the Plymouth branch”. She advised in a tone reminiscent of my old head master just before he gave me the cane.
Who would have known that Marquis have two Devon Branches, one in Plymouth and the other on the Exeter Junction of the M5?
Ok, so could they get the cover sent up from Plymouth ready for collection on Friday morning?
The Lady behind the counter turned to her colleague and snickered before telling me there wasn’t a cats chance in hell. It would have to be ordered and they couldn’t guarantee when it would arrive.
It seems when Adam said ‘We have it in stock’ he meant: We can order it (after you’ve paid for it) and then, when it arrives, it will be in stock.
Could they order it and send it to my address?
By this time, all the staff were Chortling.
Yes, they could do that but its very heavy and it would be very expensive.
She asked me how much Adam had quoted but I asked her to tell me how much she wanted first. There was a difference of £40 with Adam being the cheapest.
It was obvious this wasn’t going to work, so I changed tack and asked if they had a thermal windscreen cover for my van? They had an interior one but I wanted the exterior one.
They could they said order it for me, which was helpful.
Great. Can I collect it on Friday on our way home?
“Uh, no, we cant guarantee when it will be delivered”!
Ground hog day.
So we cut our losses and left.
When we arrived at the camp site I went into reception to do the booking and was quoted £70+ for a hard standing and £90+ for a super pitch (with Butler). I showed them my ACSI card and the price dropped to £57.99 (£19.33 per night). Now given this is supposed to be €18 a night it still worked out more expensive than advertised, but hey ho!
They gave us our wrist bands and a tag for the van, showed us our allocated plot and we were off. But when I got to the automatic gate they hadnt given me the code for the key pad. So hanging out of the drivers window I pressed a series of buttons and tried my best to read the screen in the low winter sunlight.
Spookily a voice spoke to me and I explained who I was and that I needed to get through the gate. Mysteriously the barrier lifted. However, by the time I climbed back in the window, put the van into gear and let off the hand brake, the bloody barrier came back down again.
So, I repeated the process, told them who I was (again) and after checking with reception, they agreed to lift the barrier, one more time. This time I went through Like Lewis Hamilton.
We were on pitch 21 which they told me was close to the water supply, which was handy as I had drained all the water out of the tank just before the recent cold snap.
But when we looked at the fresh water feed, for some reason it was an ordinary Kitchen tap with no connection on the end for a hose pipe. However, the grey waste tap did have a connector but, was this fresh water ( suitable for drinking) or recycled water ?
Anyone who has followed our blog over the years will remember the problems we encountered accessing water on our travels through Spain and France and as a result, we built up a collection of different size and shaped tap adaptors.
Recently we hadn’t had to make any adaptions so I dont know where these things are stored.
So I phoned reception (which wasn’t as easy as you’d think as the web site didn’t offer the telephone number) and asked the staff whether I could use the Grey water Tap? To be honest, she didn’t really understand what I was talking about. ( See Jeremy Clarkson Farming on Prime and you will quickly understand what I’m suggesting).
Eventually they sent two guy’s out on a golf buggy to give us some advice.
It seems both taps are fed from the same supply, so either can be used for drinking.
They couldn’t explain why the tap that was designated for filling the tanks on Motor Homes didn’t have a connection for a hose Pipe?
So I started filling the tank through the cap on the outside of the van whilst Jaki kept an eye on the water gauge inside. The idea is that she tells me when the tank is full and I shut off the water.
To my surprise water started running out from under the van whilst Jaki was still staring in wonder at the gauge. From outside it was obvious the tank was overflowing whilst Jaki insisted the tank gauge only registered half full. This was a puzzle.
When I stepped inside the van I could hear the pump working furiously and when I opened the bathroom door the tap in the bathroom was turned on full.
As fast as I was pouring it in, it was running back out through the bathroom sink.
Eventually we had set up camp and the kettle was on.
I managed to find a perfectly suitable cover on Amazon for £179 with Free deliver as I’ve got Amazon Prime, and feeling like I was on a roll I phoned Chipping Sodbury Caravans (which is 5 minutes from home) and they had the right screen cover, in stock and would put it away for collection on Saturday. Yay.
Later we decided to head out for a bit of an explore (it was at this point Jaki realised she’d left her coat at home) so we went up through the grave yard at the side of the church, avoiding the dog walking (shitting) area.
We clambered up through the wood which had obviously taken a bit of a thrashing during the recent storm, all around were sprigs of fallen evergreen that would make great wreaths and Christmas decorations.
We even found some unknown evergreens peppered with bright red berries that would make perfect table decorations.
When we checked in we were told the restaurant in the complex was open for Breakfast, Lunch and dinner so we decided to take a look at the menu. Sadly the menu was limited but the prices were as high, if not higher than the pubs, but without the ambiance. I suspect if it was pouring with rain, this might be an option but I doubt we will be regulars.
Indoor Pool Outdoor pool.
So as the sun went down, Jaki was watching a Place in the Sun and I was working hard trying to get the blog up to date.
This evening we will wander down to the pub for some thing to eat before getting back in time for “Im a Celebrity”.
My Mate Steve has a lightweight camping certificate and was keen to upgrade it to a Bad Ass Camper van Badge and where better to do that than deepest, darkest Gloucestershire.
Well when I say deepest, darkest Gloucester, it gets no deeper and no darker than Hardwicke.
It’s like the source of the Nile or the centre of the Brazilian rain forrest when it comes to Camper vanning. A mystical place.
All across the camping world people discuss it in hushed terms.
“Yeah, I know you drove all round Europe but have you ever been to……. Hardwicke”?
We have a special relationship with this area since our friends, Simon & Niki bought an old house there some years ago. After they moved in we went to stay with them for a weekend, Camping in their Garden. Was it really three years ago?
With Lockdown over we decided it was time to revisit so invited ourselves for a weekend.
Steve has a different camper van to the one he used last time and we need to use our’s a bit more in order to familiarise ourselves so a trip to Gloucester (30 minutes up the motorway) seemed Ideal.
Having worked our way through a list of ‘Items Still required’ we hoped we wouldn’t be short of essentials and with Jaki packing the van with Military Precision we should alleviate most of the rattles and bumps of the previous trip.
It’s amazing how creatively you can pack a camper.
Getting everything including the Kitchen sink on board without it rattling though is an art form.
We have already identified some issue which will require the van going back to the dealers for some attention so we are looking at combining a trip back to Newark with a visit to York (where I hope to visit my son) and then either on to the Yorkshire dales and the National parks or across to the lake district. Either way I have only agreed to do this route because Jaki assures me there is a heatwave coming. If not, I have no intention of sitting on top of the moors in the driving rain. I did that on Dartmoor recently, at least then I had a Cornish pasty for company.
Another option might be to come back down the coast through Norfolk a part of the world I’ve never experienced. At least they talk the same way as I do those Tractor Boys!
One way or another the van needs to get some attention.
The large sky light above the cab doesn’t seem to be fitted properly and is vibrating which makes a hell of a noise when you’re traveling.
The water pump makes a hell of a din when you turn the taps on and I’m sure it Shouldn’t. Plus the reversing camera was almost un-usable in the rain last week . It had a mist obscuring the right hand side of the screen, which isn’t very safe given thats the only view behind the van that I have.
It apparently has a 12 month warranty so the niggles we’ve discovered should be put right but we just have to get it back to the dealership in Newark.
We arrived at Simon’s late afternoon on Friday. him and Niki were still at work so we let ourselves in through the large wooden gate before trying to reverse the van up off the drive onto the grass, which required reversing up at a specific spot. It was relatively simple since he had felled an old Plum tree but we still had to avoid the divot left behind in the grass.
We were greeted by two Hares that chased each other around the garden almost oblivious to our presence.
We had the pleasure of seeing quite a bit of wild life over the weekend.
There were Swifts nesting in the new garage and we sneaked in quietly and saw the babies sat on an exposed electric cable. They looked so cute but the mess they make with their droppings was horrendous and I think they wont be welcome next year. The gap in the door which they use to fly in at break neck speed wont be there. The new doors wont have any holes so they will need to find a new home.
Pheasant were regular visitors though the little Flock of Chickens that give them a regular supply of fresh eggs were on patrol till it started to get dark.
Jaki chose a spot where she wanted to set up camp allowing us space to erect the Pop up Pergola and a suitable spot for Steve and Kathy who arrived a short time later. With the camp set up and the kettle on, and appropriate Garden Gnome’s on sentry duty, we managed to ignore the strong wind that was trying to lift the canvas and carry it away across the hedges.
When Simon and Niki had showered we had a tour of the house and compared notes on how it looked last time we visited.
Once the tour had been completed it was time for a drink so the wine came out and the Ciders were opened.
The Gas BBQ was pulled from the shed and we all contributed bits and pieces for supper.
It started to get dark but Steve did a cracking job cooking the different items to perfection before we helped ourselves to a plate full of Meat, Slaw and Fresh bread. He managed to achieve his Bad Ass BBQ cooking certificate with honours. He really earned the Prue Leath award.
Once the sun went down it started to get cold, even with the alcohol, so it wasn’t a late night.
Simon and Niki wandered off back to the house and we campers snuggled down in our little home on wheels with a cup of Cocoa and a Kindle in either hand. Even Steve has given in and bought a Kindle.
It was a windy night, we could hear the Tree’s being abused and shaken but come morning our little camp had sustained no damage.
It was a pleasant, dry, reasonably warm morning so we decided to cook a full fry up. After last nights gastronomic success Steve was put in Charge of cooking the eggs which were fresh from the Chickens that morning, using the big BBQ whilst I did the Bacon on the gas Cadic.
Jaki was in charge of Mushrooms and toast which she cooked in the van and Kathy did the Baked beans and drinks. We soon had a breakfast fit for any adventure.
Once the dishes were washed we decided to head out and explore.
We had brought push bikes but the wind was still strong and there was a feeling it might be a bit hazardous so we agreed to a short walk instead.
Niki gave us instructions that I’m sure included heading ‘down the road where we would see a footpath sign posted on the left’ and that would take us to a Farm that produced home made Ice cream. Sadly, we never found the farm, the Ice cream nor did we find the footpath!
We ended up walking as far as the River Severn then following its course till it joined the Canal though at one stage we had to have a team meeting to decide whether to press on or turn around and retrace our steps.
By then the rain was coming down in sheets and we were soaked through. The light weight anoraks that we wore were an omen and at one stage Steve was in danger of missing his target of a real ‘Bad Ass walking in the pissing rain award.’
Luckily Jeremy Corbyn came to the rescue. .
As is common with the Socialists Ramblers Association of Frampton Cotterell, the route is a flexible beast and we needed a quick Union meeting to decide whether to keep going in an unknown direction or to return using a previously tried and tested route.
Who knew our walk would became a metaphor for the Labour Party under Starmer?
So we had a proposal:-
Turn round and go back via our previous route, which didn’t get unanimous support but the amendment proposed and seconded which was to keep going till we found the Canal carried (after several points of Order) so, soaked through to our undies we completed a circuitous route which got us back to the van about 3 pm.
It’s almost compulsory to ‘Close an Eye’ at about this time of day when you’re camping so, given we had explored the rituals of socialism during the morning we bowed to a much more conservative approach on the PM and had a sleep.
That evening Simon had booked a table at the local Pub (The Pilot) so we could watch the Rugby. It had an added spice as the Landlady and some of the regulars were South African so there was sure to be an atmosphere.
Simon drove us down in his truck which he would leave there over night so he could have a drink and not fall foul of the law. Given the way he parked it sober, I’m glad he made that decision.
The Rugby was exciting, if you like rugby but I had one eye on my phone as the mighty Bristol City were playing the first match of the season and we had been assured by players and management that this season would be different. This season we would win.
Sadly we didn’t and it wasn’t.
In fact it was exactly the same as last year. Winning up until the 93rd minute when they conceded a goal and gave away two points. But hey, it’s Bristol City, thats what they do.
We also lost the rugby in the dying seconds so it was a disappointing afternoon all round.
We decided to order some food and I am happy to report the menu was everything I would want in Pub Grub with all my favourites. I would have happily eaten anything off the menu.
Simon had Fish and Chips, Steve and Jaki had Pie of the day (with Mash and Veg) which was advertised as ‘Beef and Ale’ but was actually ‘Beef and Garlic’. Boy it was strong. Delicious, but you really did need to like Garlic, a lot.
Niki had Scampi and Sweet potato fries which were amazing.
I went for the half rack of ribs with chips which filled me up way before Id finished all the meat on the ribs and Kathy had….. What did Kathy have?
The crowd started to thin out after the rugby which was a shame because the guy that came on stage and played guitar and sang was really good. We stayed till about 9 pm but by then I was getting tired. I had drunk two pints, eaten a huge meal and walked a million steps so I was ready for my bed, which tonight we had made up as a double for the first time.
We still had to walk home from the pub and by now it was pitch black. Jaki had no Idea which direction we needed to go so I was left to navigate by the stars and the milestones I had memorised from earlier in the day. (I know, It’s a gift from God).
I must admit to being relieved when I saw Simons House looming up out of the darkness as by then I had started to doubt myself.
Oh how good it was to get in bed with a mug of Tea after such a day. I didn’t take much rocking.
Sunday Morning we were all a bit Lazy but eventually we congregated under the Gazebo and planned our return Journey. We made up our camp as swiftly as possible, said our goodbyes stole some plants from Nikis garden and left no trace of of us ever having been there.
Niki kindly gave us a Dozen fresh eggs to take home which we had for Tea that evening and we agreed to do it again in another three years.
I really enjoyed my weekend.
It was nice to get away but it was even nicer to catch up with friends and share some time. We talked a lot which is always a good thing. It’s surprising how we missed talking to other people during lock down? We had a few laughs, ate some great food, experienced the wild life that lives on our doorstep, yet is so elusive.
We had to go back to Newark to pick up our Camper on the 19th July.
We were booked for a hand over at 1400hrs (they do three a day max) so we were the last hand over of the day.
We drove up in the Freelander (loaded with all the overnight essentials we thought we might need) which Jaki would drive back.
Luckily we got there with 10 minutes to spare even though we had set out in plenty of time.
The motorway was very busy and there were a few bottle necks which slowed us down so we were gagging for a cup of tea when we eventually got there.
Our van was out on the lot connected to the mains.
It had been through a full habitation inspection, a service, an MOT and a valet, though who ever did the cleaning must have been in need of a visit to Spec savers as they missed several bits and there was a large grease mark on the drivers door.
We were shown around our van by a Technician who tried his best to demonstrate everything but its almost impossible to see and test everything on a camper. There are so many different aspects.
There’s the living bit, beds, cooker, toilet etc’
The driving bit, gears, air-con, heater. radio Sat-nav.
Then there’s the mechanics, suspension, tyres, brakes etc.
And finally the body, including vents, lockers and items on the roof.
It really needs a few weeks to get used to things, try them, test them, play with them and at last understand them, so a quick once over on the day you get the Keys isn’t really going to equip a new owner with all the knowledge and skills needed to be competent.
But he did the best he could in the time available.
The van came without any Calor gas bottles (why?) so they had to lend us one overnight on the promise that we brought it back the next day.
We are the proud owners of three full calor gas bottles but strangely they dont have the correct adapters to fit the new Van so I had to drive to Chipping Sodbury Caravans and buy a new hose. Then i had to drive back again as the young lady serving me forgot to include the adapter!
We also needed a small brass connector to use the external BBQ gas point and they kindly gave us one.
They also gave us a Hamper of basic items which was a nice touch.
When he had finished we really weren’t any wiser but luckily they offered to put us up overnight at a local camp site so we could play with the van and see if there were any problems. With some hand drawn instructions of how to find the Camp site (which was in fact only a mile away) we set off to Smeaton’s Lakes.
We managed to get completely lost and found ourselves in the car park of a Pub where we tried to make sense of the 5 sat nav devices we had ( three mobile phones, a sat nav in the Camper and one in the Freelander) but they all wanted us to go in different directions and no matter how many times a Sat Nav instructs you to”Go North” you cant unless you know which way North is!
Eventually Jaki drove off in the car and I sat and waited for her to come back with instructions.
Perhaps that’s what SAT nav actually means?
It seems we weren’t a million miles away, but the Sat Nav’s all wanted to send us down this very narrow lane and there was no way I was driving my new camper down there.
When we arrived it was a pleasant surprise.
The site is really pretty and each plot has a view of the lake where people were fishing and the ducks and Geese were meandering around, making the noises Ducks and Geese make. It did mean you couldn’t actually sit on the grass as it was covered almost completely in Goose shit!
So we tried to set up camp. With the memory of our hand over quickly fading we had to improvise some bits and it was much later in the evening we realise the Fridge wasn’t actually working. (One of the extension leads we had taken with us is faulty and so we had to swap it for the other one).
Once things were reasonably secure we drove into Newark looking for food. Jaki fancied Fish and Chips and we could see there were several in Newark it was just a case of finding them.
Newark isn’t a big town and its fairly compact so once we parked up it was only a short walk into the town proper. We were pleasantly surprised how nice it was and we chose to keep wandering even though we found the Chip shop on our first attempt.
I realised I had been to Newark before when I stayed with my old mate Graham (Stappy) Stapp and his wife Jenny who lived in Farndon just outside of Newark.
I didn’t remember the smell though which I think must come from the Sugar Factory?
We were surprised to pass 5 Kebab shops and when we did find the Fish and Chip shop (Castle Gate fish bar), it had a range of strange options Including ‘Jungle Meat”on offer.
We had one Haddock and one Cod lot (£5.50 each) Plus 2 portions of chips (£3.65 each) and I nearly fell through the floor when they charged me over £18.
So we drove back to the Van where we sat out on a bench by the side of the lake and tucked into our Fish Supper.
Sadly it was very disappointing and we threw most of it away. The Chips were hard (undercooked) and the batter was fatty, so we picked the bits of white fish out and left the rest.
By the time we finished it was starting to get dark and we had had a long day, full of excitement so we made up the beds ( there are two options, two singles or a transverse double) and settled down.
It wasn’t a great nights sleep.
Sleeping anywhere strange is always a bit of a challenge and I found the beds a bit too firm and far narrower than I was used to. Even though we had all the blinds drawn, we had forgotten to pull the blind on the sky light so as soon as the sun came up, we were awake. If it hadn’t been the Sun I think the honking of the Geese would have been enough to drive us out of bed.
I woke with a stiff back though Jaki slept fine.
We took our time making up the van and once we were finished I drove back into Newark and returned the gas bottle. Interestingly the salesman ‘Steve” didnt recognise me even though we were best mates yesterday?
We needed Fuel and the nearest cheap Diesel was in the Waitrose Supermarket back in Newark. Its always a bit daunting fuelling up a new vehicle for the first time and i always get that dread that I am going to put Petrol in by mistake. Luckily that didn’t happen and before long we were off back to Bristol.
There is a Tom Tom Sat Nav fitted in the van but in my experience they aren’t very good and unless they have been updated recently they tend to be out of date and out of touch.
So I intended to use Google maps ( we used this in Spain and it was much better than the expensive system CoPilot I had bought which is supposed to be tailored to Caravans and motor homes).
I now have two i Phones.
Primarily because I dropped my i phone 6 and broke the glass, had that repaired and then dropped it again and broke the LCD screen.
So after two repairs I decided to upgrade and bought an i phone 11 which meant i could use one phone for all the hard yards (like sat nav) and the other for making calls and taking photo’s.
I fixed the old ‘i phone 6’ in the holder, set the route for home and set off confident that it would find the best route.
The journey between Newark and Birmingham is all motorway but it requires countless changes from one to another and some are very complex. It wasn’t long till we got to the first of these difficult navigation points and when the ‘AI’ was suddenly challenged, the phone went into melt down.
The screen started spinning like a windmill in a hurricane, so instead of the little Logo (little red car) heading upward with the marked route in front of it, the screen span a few times and ended up pointing in the opposite direction. I frantically pressed the on screen button to ‘centre the image’ but this brought on a series of whirls and flashing pages, followed by some adverts, a series of information pages and then a page that asked.
‘How am I doing’ ?
And gave me a range of Smiley face options. 😃 😑 😩
By now I was in panic mode as I needed to decide which of the options to take and with Jaki following me, I needed to give her time to react. At the last minute the screen settled enough that I could see I needed to turn off left so I veered across three lanes, much to the annoyance of other road users, and shot down a slip road with Jaki still on my tail.
From here on the Phone had a monumental paddy, spinning and slipping through screens in a dizzying manner. On at least one other occasion it let me down right at a crucial moment and I had to swap lanes in a hurry. Eventually I was forced to pull into the services and swap phones.
The ‘i Phone 6’ is now booked in to the repair shop (for the third time in a month) but till then its not coming out of the drawer.
When we eventually made it home we had to park the new van on the drive and it was only then we realised just how big a 7.2 meter camper van really is.
It went on the drive easily enough but it meant we couldn’t get the other two cars on at the same time so there will need to be some reorganisation.
However, at least for now it is parked safely at its new home.
Bill and Jaki go Travelling 