Thai Massage. 3rd Jan 2016.

We were the proud owners of a Free Thai Massage courtesy of the Christmas Eve prize draw.

Jaki and Georgia had already experience the full Thai massage and were less than impressed.  It was they said, a bit Physical. I don’t know if its true but i was told the CIA were looking at Thai massage as an alternative to Water Boarding.

So we’ve been putting off taking advantage of our ill gotten gains but as this was our last full day, we knew we would have to bite the bullet and get it done.

Jaki went off to the office to book a session for 1700hrs, that would leave us a clear day on the beach and then a massage before we went up and got ready to go out.

When she came back she looked a bit sheepish before telling me we had won two free thai massages and not one as we’d thought, so we were both booked in for a session. However, she had negotiated some changes.

She was now having a Foot Massage and i was having a Head Neck and Shoulder job.

Our friend Sabina (the German lady) had extolled the virtues of the head massage so it didn’t seem too daunting.

Come the allotted hour we made our way gingerly to the massage tent and met our therapists. On the surface they looked rather small and diminutive, though looks can be deceptive.

I was told to lie on my stomach and the lady immediately started digging her thumbs into the soles of my feet. I don’t think i screamed but at that time i was ready to confess to any crime.

She then moved up my body giving my legs a bit of  attention.

Given this was a Head and Shoulders Massage she expended an inordinate amount of time on my Bum, which she exposed for all the world to see by whipping down my trunks in one practiced movement, exposing two large mounds of Pink flesh like a Blanc Mange Bicycle stand.

This obviously offended her so she attacked it with a  vengeance, using her elbows and one foot.

She then spotted my back and considered this too an offence to Buddha, so she proceeded to rub this with the palms of her hands which were like two Industrial Surforms.

She was using an oil (advertised as Coconut) to lubricate the skin but i think she was cutting corner’s. The stuff she used must have been stolen from the kitchen as it smelt of Roast Chicken.

It was like getting a massage from Jamie Oliver after he had prepared a 5 Bird Roast.

Luckily this onslaught came to and end and she moved her attention at last to my head and neck which she twisted and prodded until it went where she wanted it to go.

I wasn’t particularly unhappy when the whole thing came to an end.

In comparison to the free meal we’d had the night before (courtesy of the New Years Eve Gala Dinner) which was excellent. This was a booby prize. It didn’t compare to the foot massage I’d had on the beach by one of the traders, which was gentle and very relaxing.

So we decided to treat ourselves to a last meal as compensation.

A couple from Manchester recommended a Restaurant called KOB Thai which was a short walk from the Hotel but out into the country side. It didn’t take long to get there but in the dark the walk was a little precarious and we had a few near misses with the scooters. Suggest using a taxi which would be very cheap.

It was worth the effort though. The venue was beautiful with tables set up on raised platforms around a pool that was available for a swim had we brought out trunks.

Sadly we had forgotten to pack a camera phone so i have no pictures however, this place is on Trip Advisor so I’m sure I will be able to Google some images to add later.

We chose the set menu for two which introduced us to a range of Thai dishes and including a carafe of very nice wine this came in at well under 2000 BHT.

We walked back to the Hotel and found Frank our German friend and his wife Sabina drinking in the Mariner bar opposite. So we had a fare well drink with them before heading back to the room for our very last night.

At least for now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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