Reverse Polarity is bad for the figure

Heeding the warnings on blogs and in magazines, I bought an electricity tester which let’s me know if the electricity supply on any given plot is ‘reversed’ or whether it’s safe.

In practice this can be a bit of a ‘Red Herring’ as having tested the electricity supply and identified it as ‘Reversed’ what the Ferk do you do then?

On some plots it’s not so bad. There might be 4/6/8 different connections so if one is ‘Hookey’ you can try another till you find one that’s ‘Kosher’. On some sites the connection is via a two pin plug and if this is the case I’m told you can turn your plug around so the prongs go in opposite holes but I haven’t tested this personally.

In most cases there is only one connection allocated to each plot and if it ain’t right you have two choices, use it or not.

There is a third option, which is: You complain at reception, they thank you for bringing this to their attention, they call out an electrician and he arrives promptly and repairs the faulty wires.

As yet though, this hasn’t worked so I’m sticking with the first two options.

The reason option three isn’t an option is that it’s not only the electricity supply that is ‘Reverse Polarity’ everything seems to be wired wrong. Nothing is available when it’s needed!

Take the Bar by the pool.

It’s very nice, nice terrace, Menu in the window, drinks on display but it’s never open. Well, that’s not true. It is open, but it’s never open when you need it. It’s open from 0800 till lunchtime, then it closes. Just when you fancy one of the pizzas advertised in the window, it’s closed. The bar staff have their Siesta at lunchtime. Then they open again but close just when people are leaving the pool when all ‘Sane’ people head to a Bar for a beer. That is ‘Reverse Polarity’.

The camp shop works on the same system. It opens early, closes when people are up and about and then closes for lunch, opens again at 1600 and closes again at 1800. It closes Sundays, Mondays and this Thursdays (Bank Holiday). ‘Reverse Polarity’.

But this phenomenon goes much further than the camp site. This is an epidemic.

A lady told us how she fell down and hurt herself so made her way to the ‘Red Cross’ station only to find they were having a Siesta. ‘Come back at five o’clock’ she was told. ‘Reverse Polarity’.

There was a story in the paper about a rescue which took place at 2228 hrs and the Fire Brigade though off duty, attended.’Reverse Polarity’.
We cycled into ‘Isla Plana’ today to explore. On route we passed two nice restaurants and decided to call in there on the way home and have a meal. Sadly both were closed at 1920 hrs. ‘Reverse Polarity’. Why open a restaurant when people want to eat, it only creates washing up!

NB: we’ve been advised that opening times rely on the weather, as the nights get lighter, the Restaurants open later.

Yet the papers are full of stories about the recession, the impact on jobs, the closure of Hotels and the growth of the Black Economy. Well I have the solution. Check your electrics!

The practical impact of ‘Reverse Polarity’ is that Jaki and I have no tea. We have nothing to cook, no bread no meat, no salad and no bloody restaurants!

As a result our evening meal consists of :

1 x Bottle of Red wine
1 x Bottle of white
1 x Bottle of Rose
1 x Bag of crisps
1 x Bag of peanuts

And for Desert, one bottle of Cognac.

Put that in yer Amp meter and smoke it!

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