When you travel for any period, you have to have a sense of humour, and when you travel through Spain you have to have a Jeremy Beadle mentality, they are right ‘Wag’s’.
Here is a list of my favourite ruses, though not in any particular order.
There’s the old toilet paper gag. This always creases me.
This involves not putting toilet paper in the gents cubicle so you only realise you don’t have any when you need it most.
The task is to wait till no one is in the toilet, dash out of the cubicle with your shorts around your ankles, grab a handful of paper and get back before anyone see’s you. Though there’s usually a Spanish lady lurking outsider with a mop and bucket (disguise) who greets you with a jaunty “Ola” just as your on the homeward straight.
This reminded me of an incident in the Bear, Hotwells, where on a Sunday night they used to have an open mike night. No one ever went there so this particular Sunday evening I used the loo, which was down a flight of stone steps, in the cellar and discovered there was no paper. Confident no one would come down and even if they did, I could hear the ‘Clip clop’ on the stairs, I slipped over to the sink for a quick swill. To my horror I missed the sound of approaching footsteps and was caught with my bum in a very big old fashioned sink.
Not much you can say at that point, though a sheepish grin goes a long way.
Then there’s the missing toilet seat gag, which is even funnier when it’s freezing cold, so tends to be a staple of the Mountain regions.
The shower gag.
This ones really funny.
You design and build a shower block that looks like the real thing but is in fact a facade.
The first thing to do is put ceramic tiles on the floor that are like ice when they’re wet.
Then, and this is good. You set up a shower cubicle with a changing area, a coat hook (only one so it has to be used) and a bench to sit on. Then you position the shower head in just the right position ( fixed so it can’t be adjusted) and aim the water at the bench and coat hook so when the tap is turned on everything in the changing room gets soaked including, towel, change of clothes and especially, shoes.
For the double bubble you can always swap the hot and cold tap so you still get soaked but in freezing cold water.
Oh how we laughed when that happens.
This is a new one but very interesting. You put the gas boiler vent at face height and position it so it discharges just above the washing up sinks, then every time someone uses the hot water, they gas themselves. It’s hysterical.
I have already commented on the ‘not built yet Supermarket’ that gets you to cycle 5 kilometres up a hill by putting up a sign and an arrow at the bottom. Oh the power of advertising.
Then there’s the WiFi spoof.
They charge you €4 per day for wifi, but it only works for about 6 hours a day and even then it doesn’t have enough energy to send a tweet. This one has left me cold. It’s a bit like a Peter Kay DVD we were shown one Christmas.
“You’ll love this it’s so funny”. We were assured.
But try as I might, I just didn’t find it ‘so funny’ and I just don’t seem to get how ripping you off with substandard, not fit for purpose Wifi is meant to be funny?
Though last night we Brits got our own back.
We were sat in the bar on site, where I must admit I might have been slightly obstructing the egress through the canvass sides when a Spanish guy slid through the slalom I had created and as he did he gave my head a bit of a tap. I turned just in time to see him trip over a black dog that had been sleeping on the floor. He flew across the bar, hit one of the waiters and embedded himself in the vending machine in the corner, where it took two of his friends to prise him out of the dent he’d made.
Now that’s what I call funny!