Camping La Bella Vista. 1st April 2014

There is a website advertised for this site as campinglabellavista.com but I didn’t find it helpful. I preferred the caravan club web site- overseas holiday section. Which is interesting as I can’t find this site in their book ‘Caravan Europe’ Spain and Portugal.

However, this is probably the nicest site we’ve found to date. The pitches are well laid out with water, electricity and grey waste points on each plot though the one we were allocated didn’t have water so we moved next door.

Toilets, showers, laundry all first class. My only complaint is the lighting relies on photo sensitive switches that are intended to ‘sense’ when your using the facilities. Not quite sure what they react to but I found myself in the dark on more than one occasion.

We were offered a choice of pitches, either near to the facilities or near the Beach. In Unison (plug for the union there, bit of product placement) Jaki said “Beach” and I said “Facilities”. Little did I know this ‘harbinger’ spelt trouble ahead.

As it turned out it was completely academic as the plots were, give or take ‘a Gnats Nudger’ equal distance from both.

This site also offered free Wifi and I was keen to log on as it was Glastonbury tickets pay day.

I got on the seetickets.com website whilst Jaki indulged her passion and put a wash load on. It’s all about ‘me’ with Jaki.

Everything was going swimmingly till I got to the bit where I had to book a camping pass for the Camper and that’s where the world came off its axis.

In the past we have always camped in East camping but it has one major drawback, it’s at the top of a steep hill which is great when it rains (except the year it flooded pedestrian gate C) but lousy at the end of a 12 hour drinking session. I’ve seen grown men weep at the prospect of climbing that hill to reach their beds. In fact I’ve been one of them.

So, foolishly, I suggested we try West camper field for a change. It’s flat and access to the site is close to The Park, which is a great area of the festival and I understand is Emily Eavis’s baby.

You would think I’d suggested driving round Texas with ‘Man Love’ written on the side of the camper the response I got. How anarchic can you get. West camping, outrageous. I’d sooner drink sick.

So, when it came to ticking the box, East or West camping at £85 a bung I knew I had to get it right or I’d be toast. I drew a mental picture of the site in my head, decided definitely that East was best, then got panicked, confused East with West and booked the wrong one. I only realised this when the confirmation email came through and I read it out proudly to Jaki.

“Confirmed, two tickets to Glasto in our names with camping in WEST campsite”.

At this point she hit the roof,which isn’t hard in a camper, I do it all the time but mostly on the locker at night when I go for a wee.

Apparently she ‘knew I would do that all along’.

No amount of pleading that it was a genuine mistake would shake her belief that I had disobeyed a strict order not to book West.

So we entered into one of those periods where none of us wanted to speak to the other. I was Obama and she, Putin and in the confines of a Hymer 564 you have to be very creative to avoid the need to speak.

I immediately tried to rectify this by contacting see tickets.com but although they have a ‘contact us’ link, you can’t actually contact anyone real. I wondered whether their head office was based in Roswell as they are more Alien than ‘Mork from Ork’.

This became a scab which we would pick at all evening which didn’t do much for the atmosphere on plot 104.

later, I got a confirmation e mail from Glaso office confirming my booking and my West camper ticket. So I emailed them and asked if I could change it. Initially they said no, I’d have to buy another then request cancellation and refund of the one I didn’t want, which was a bit disappointing. However, a nice lady called Naomi has been in touch and agreed to change the ticket for me.

So, all is well that ends well.

I’ve learnt that I’m completely incapable of doing anything without a grown up supervising (you were right all along Mr Herniman) and in future Jaki will be solely responsible for organising anything, which might well work in my favour!.

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