4th day at the Gabba

Up early today, made some sandwiches as the food yesterday would have made Bernard Mathews Turkey Twizzlers look like an organic tonic. Pizza, chips, hot dog, chips, fish and chips. You even get chips when you take a pee.

There is a stall selling ‘Quick Beer’ which is like drinking cold water but at $7 a glass. How anyone could get pissed up drinking this I don’t know, but they did.

Water is about $5 a bottle and you can’t take your own in unless it’s a sealed bottle so our plan of freezing two bottles to take with us went down the pan or in effect, in the bin.

Currently were watching the tail ender battle away on TV as the second storm was an omen that things could only go two ways, either England are all out or rain stops play for rest of the day so we chose to head for home just before the crowds. Big mistake.

We should know that you don’t leave the shelter of a nice dry stadium and go outside where there is no cover, in a full blown storm, even if the transport system is good. So immediately outside we got soaked and as there was no bus in sight, so we walked to the taxi rank which was in full sun again by then.

However, I’ve transgressed.

Back to this morning.

We asked reception to order a taxi for us and waited outside for it to arrive. There were 3 Aussies already waiting for a Taxi though the Lady decided to go to the market instead of the Gabba, so there was now only four of us waiting for a Taxi. We suggested to the two Aussies that we share and they agreed, though I felt some what reluctantly. They didn’t want to chat and weren’t particularly interested in engaging with us.

However, a Taxi arrived and then said he didn’t want to run us to the Gabba as it would take him too long to get back again. I thought Taxis ran you where you wanted to go, not where they want to go.

So a big thank you to Black and White Taxis of Brisbane. You Tossers!

We started walking toward the Bus stop but before then we flagged down  a Taxi and we were there in record time, shared the $15 Bill, found our gate and made our way to our seats high up in the stadium, but in the posh bit, though I don’t think the seats were as comfortable as yesterday or has my bum got that Cycling syndrome which you get when you haven’t ridden a bike in ages.

There goes the last wicket and it had to be ‘Caught and Bowled Johnson’ man of the match too. He was the most aggressive bowler and his speed was about 10k faster than any other bowler. So now, I’m glad we’re already home and don’t have to put up with any more piss taking though the Barmy Army gave a good account of themselves today in the face of some quite serious provocation. If it was football there would have been blood.

Once in our seats we were joined by a family of Mum, Dad and two little boys that had absolutely no interest in cricket and were bored once the crisps, chocolate and ice cream had been consumed. They proceeded to make themselves as annoying as possible and got up and down from their seats more often than a 90 year old with an enlarged Prostrate.

England didn’t disappoint, they were as bad today as they were yesterday but the accolade of ‘Bill Hendy’s award for worst Twat on the pitch’ goes to Graham Swan who was rubbish with bat and ball but he was run a close race by his Chums.

The highlight of the day was when the Barmy Army sang ‘God save the Queen’ and immediately after they finished there was a flash of lightening and then a crash of thunder that shook the stadium. With that the rain poured down and turned to Hail Stones, stopping the play stone dead.

This prompted some one to run onto the pitch where he was immediately tackled by the stewards and then 2 of Brisbane’s finest.Apparently the fine is $8000, so quite a costly jog.

There was a very long delay and I was surprised to see that in this day and age they still relied on a bloke pushing a roller which soaked up the water, then they lifted a bit of turf and poured the water down what I assume is a drain. Isn’t there a more high tech way of getting rid of water?

Sadly that was about as good as it got and our test experience is now over though I’d love to know what the English press have to say about what was an incompetent side.

I did laugh at the headline in the local paper which read.

“Can’t bat, can’t bowl and our WAG’s are Hotter than theirs”. Crap newspapers are the same the world over.

So sat here listening to Alastair Cook explain how things went so wrong, i’m considering whether I should go out and find the Barmy Army or open the Gin and take a swim.

I’ll let you know which we decided.

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